Sir I have tried to keep myself off from porn and I am really in an urge to remove it from life from the past 3 years but I keep on relapsing. I follow for 3 days and then 4th day I relapse. I know I have work to do then also I keep coming back to it and waste my hours watching it and find myself guilty of it. Really sir I want to come out of it once for all and don't want to indulge in it again sir.
sir this my the first time I am sharing my porn addiction with anyone. I feel very ashamed to tell anyone that what will the other person will think of me. And sir honestly sir if anyone tells that he is suffering from the same addiction I try to be very smart and give him 'n' numbers of advice which I myself don't follow. Advice from like keeping your self busy to be very very strict with your mind, just to be outsmarted in front of everybody. I really want to make this habit a change and I feel strongly sir I would be able to do it. Just I need some guidance, sir.
Thank you Aditya Sir.
Hi Aryan,
Firstly, it is incredible that you are openly talking about your addiction brother. Talking about it and seeking out help is the first and the most important step in trying to overcome addiction.
You have all the information you need, you have read Pornistan as well, so I will cut to the chase, the best advice I can offer you is in the form of my own experience. I will post a detailed article about how I got over my porn addiction in the next few days. Read that, and then we can have a detailed discussion about it. I am also hoping other people come on this forum and share their own tips and tricks for dealing with porn addiction.
Till then, I can give you three simple tips:
1) Your porn addiction took time to develop. It took years of watching porn, and slowly it became an addiction. Now to overcome that addiction too will take some time. Everything has a momentum; your addiction has a momentum of its own, and to overcome it will take some time. So don't be too harsh on yourself and be ready for a long fight, because this will be a long fight.
2) The key to beating the addiction is awareness. While there are many ways to fight addiction, the most important aspect of beating porn addiction is being aware of what you are doing. What does this mean? Being aware means to be conscious/mindful of the things you do during the day. Now developing a habit of being aware also takes time. But here is one simple thing you can start doing. Notice the sequence of events that lead to you watching porn. Is it after you browse Facebook? Is it after you have seen some YouTube videos? Is it whenever you log onto the internet? The next time you start doing these things which usually lead to you being on a porn site, start doing some deep breathing. When you are about to search for porn on the internet, say it out loud 'I am about to start watching porn'. This will give you an extra second to stop and think about what you are about to do.
3) Give yourself a smaller target. One month, that's it. Don't stop watching porn forever. Just stop watching it for one month. Try that first.
Let's keep this discussion going, please ask any other questions you might have. I will soon write a detailed breakdown of everything that helped me beat my porn addiction. Till then, stay strong man, and don't be too harsh on yourself, you will beat this; I can promise you that you will.
Thank You so much sir, for your detailed simple tips to beat porn addiction. I feel really feel positive about that I would be able to beat this Addiction gradually by sharing it openly with you sir. Sir surely I will try to apply all of your three tips for the next 1 full month and keep up updated about it. I will be very honest with you over this 1 month, share you my experience about my days, how i felt so that we could able to connect to each other transparently. Sir I will be giving you weekly updates too about the things I felt over a week and Sir If I any how relapsed in any chance I would be openly discussing about it with You. Thank you Aditya sir.
How are things going Aryan? I should also add that I have slipped up and gone back to watching porn many times since I quit. So while I am giving you gyan on how to quit porn, I acknowledge that it is very hard to quit, and that it is a constant battle against the urge to watch porn. Which is the whole point of this forum, to support each other in the fight against porn addiction.
Thanks a lot sir for your support and reaching back asking me how things are going. Sir i promised you to give weekly update and try telling you complete truth about my habit. Sir very honestly I couldn't able to follow even for week. The urge is so strong that I keep relapsing every second day and get into the loop of self destruction mode. Sir honestly it's a constant battle between the emotional and the intellectual minds. I am also self observing the patterns I watch the most of the time. Sir I observed it is usually between 3 pm to 5pm i have the strong urge to watch it. Sir i have also a query like watching porn is same as masturbation? If No, then sir if I have the urge of masturbation what is the correct way to do it rather indulging into the porn again?
Hi Aryan, good on you for being honest and sharing your experience man.
Again, let me tell you one thing; I have gone through the struggle that you are going through right now. I tried quitting porn for years, before actually being able to do it. So well done and keep trying, you will overcome it.
Where in India do you live? Listen, I think you could really use an intervention, a change of routine or outside help. Personally, what helped me the most in my fight against porn Addiction was ging to a Vipassana meditation course.
Depending on where in India you are, you will have a Vipassana centre somewhere near you. If you can take out ten days and I highly recommend that you do, then go online and book a ten-day Vipassana course. This is the website; you will have to look for the centre that is close to you and then go to the website and book a spot. It is free of charge, and you only pay a donation at the end of the course if you want to. https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/index
If this is not possible right now, due to Covid. Then I would recommend doing a Sri Sri Ravishankar's Happyness course. It is a short four-day course and can help a bit. But it won't be nearly as effective as Vipassana.
The point is to change your routine and change your physical and mental state. Which is what one of these courses help you do.
Hello Aditya sir, my fight for this is still going on and I am very hopeful that I would be able to overcome it.
Sir, I am from Greater Noida, Uttar Pradesh. Honestly, sir what happened is that due to COVID I tried applying for the job but the hiring in most of the firms have been stopped due to COVID-19 and me also in search of finding some work and going out because it is been almost 4 months that I am in the home but I am hopeful that from the month of August everything will be normal.
Surely, sir, I will also look into the Vipassana Meditation Course once the situation gets normalized.
Sir, can you please share your experience in fights this addiction of yours, what challenges all you face when you were also in the same situation and how you were able to overcome it? How long you were also facing it and when did you realized that now this is the end I have to make this habit a pause forever. And how is life actually now once you were really able to break it forever? Sir can you please take some time and share your Journey so that me and future readers can also take some golden nuggets and apply the same in to our lifes also.
Thank You Sir.
Hi Aryan,
So the closest Vipassana centre for you will be the one in Sohna. https://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schsota
This is where I did my first course and have done a few courses there since. It is a hard course and that centre is strict, but believe me, it will be worth the effort. Most importantly it will break the habit of watching porn, and although the urge will come back, it will only come back after a few weeks or a few months, which will give you enough time to get more prepared to fight the urge when it comes.
Also, look into the happiness program by Sri Sri Ravishankar, it can also help you bring more awareness in your daily life. I can also recommend some psychologist in the area if you want.
Give me a week or two man and I will write in more detail about my own journey with porn addiction.
Another thing, try stopping for a week this time :)